Tuesday, August 08, 2006
A need for romance.
I meet this girl, who is attractive to me--an impression, no doubt, created by the fact that she deigns to talk to me (what wonderfully low esteem!). I'm conflicted--at this advanced age (actually, represents attitude fairly accurately, an attempt at humor is not being made here) caution (atleast being aware of the need to be cautious) comes pretty easily, at the same time there's an impatient part of me that wants me to decide really fast what my feelings for the girl are, and take steps towards getting into a relationship, fulfilling physical (don't say a word, I warn you) and emotional needs. The first approach, I know, is the right one, but it's the second one that seems more compelling (no brainer, I guess).
The romance I was constructing around this girl is related to the experience of a very close friend. He's now married (in fact, the ceremony took place only about 2 weeks back) to a Romanian girl he had been dating for about 4 years. There was, atleast in my mind, a very endearing devotional aspect to the relationship from my friend's side from the very beginning--without much prompting from the girlfriend, within weeks of starting to date her, he took it upon himself to teach himself her language. His efforts were diligent and now he's so highly proficient in Romanian that he can easily hold his own in any conversation with his wife's friends or even her relatives back in Romania, for that matter. That's the fantasy I was building involving this girl whose native language, not unlike my friend's case, is different from mine.
Recently, I went out for dinner with these guys and I complimented my friend on his decision to learn the language. Turns out there was more to it than what I was romanticizing it to be--he actually enjoyed learning the language independently of the fact that it was something his girlfriend wanted him to do. When I told my friend what my hopes from this girl were, he went on to add, that no relationship is as perfect as I was imagining his to be (No 'rainbows day after day') and every relationship also comes with its issues that require working out. No new stuff here, really, but it's sometimes necessary to be brought back to Earth. That's enough self-disclosure for the time being, stay tuned.
The romance I was constructing around this girl is related to the experience of a very close friend. He's now married (in fact, the ceremony took place only about 2 weeks back) to a Romanian girl he had been dating for about 4 years. There was, atleast in my mind, a very endearing devotional aspect to the relationship from my friend's side from the very beginning--without much prompting from the girlfriend, within weeks of starting to date her, he took it upon himself to teach himself her language. His efforts were diligent and now he's so highly proficient in Romanian that he can easily hold his own in any conversation with his wife's friends or even her relatives back in Romania, for that matter. That's the fantasy I was building involving this girl whose native language, not unlike my friend's case, is different from mine.
Recently, I went out for dinner with these guys and I complimented my friend on his decision to learn the language. Turns out there was more to it than what I was romanticizing it to be--he actually enjoyed learning the language independently of the fact that it was something his girlfriend wanted him to do. When I told my friend what my hopes from this girl were, he went on to add, that no relationship is as perfect as I was imagining his to be (No 'rainbows day after day') and every relationship also comes with its issues that require working out. No new stuff here, really, but it's sometimes necessary to be brought back to Earth. That's enough self-disclosure for the time being, stay tuned.
Labels: autobiographical, Reflections on life
# posted by Mohit Nayyar : 4:32 PM
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